Our Thoughts Create Our Reality

A fundamental truth in life is that the thoughts a person has determine how that person actually behaves and interacts with others.

If we think nobody likes us or that we will not do well in an interview, subconsciously we start to interpret events in such a way that we confirm these doubts and fears to ourselves. Our body language joins in the self-sabotage and communicates these fears to others and this in turn influences the way they respond to us.

When told something as an eight year old child, we can carry that message through to adult life and continue to interpret through the eyes of a child - even though the message may no longer be appropriate or relevant.  Susan was repeatedly told as a child that she was clumsy. As a teenager she excelled at gymnastics and dance and had great coordination. However, the original message stuck with her and now as an adult, when she is in a situation where she is nervous or feels she must impress, she still feels like a clumsy child and stumbles, knocking things over.

Once you understand that your thoughts impact your actions and behaviours, you can start to identify patterns and do something about the thoughts you have and the decisions you make. Recurring patterns in your life often indicate underlying conflicts in your beliefs and values and addressing the conflict breaks the pattern.

A benefit of coaching therapy is that you do not need to know the problem areas yourself. A skilled therapist can isolate them and help you to dissolve problems so your thoughts change in a way that support you.

 

When there is a battle between logic and emotion, emotion usually wins.

Emotions form the backdrop to the thoughts you have. Emotions are driven by the subconscious mind and this part of you is an extremely powerful driver. The subconscious mind can only "talk" to you through emotions.

If you ignore your emotions, as so many of us do, you continue to repeat the same unhelpful behaviours over and over again.

Example:

John dreams of a family and sees himself as loyal and with integrity. He commits himself completely to a relationship (because he is loyal and has integrity). They move in together but there is unease.

He ignores this unease, not realising that this represents a conflict going on inside him. The relationship requires him to give stable emotional support but deep down he greatly values freedom because he believes himself to be incapable of providing emotional support.

He struggles with this conflict for a few years, not really understanding what the conflict is. All he knows is that he is unhappy and assumes that he is with the wrong woman or that the circumstances are wrong or that the timing isn't right. Eventually, there is a painful breakup. To numb the pain, he immediately enters a new relationship. He wants a family, he is loyal and he has integrity... so he commits to this new relationship and the same pattern occurs again.

John has had four serious relationships in the space of ten years. He is completely aware he loves to be in a relationship but his beliefs about himself have created thoughts that impact his behaviour. He is distant and runs away when the relationship needs emotional stability. He is completely unaware of his inner conflict: Wanting a family versus wanting freedom from emotional responsibility.

John is out of alignment with himself and as well as the traumatic effect this has on the women he is involved with, over time the resulting build up of stress could show itself in other ways such as those listed on the left.

 

Emotions reflect your values and beliefs

As you bury your emotions, you neglect what is truly important to you. Logical values are not necessarily the same as Emotional values.

Our methods revolve around your thoughts, values and beliefs, aligning you with the way you want to be. Helping you to evaluate the thoughts you have and the decisions you make.

Our peak performance coaching and therapy methods contain a powerful and potent blend of EFT, NLP and CBT and through these, you are able to understand conflicts and dissolve them in a way that supports you. You develop rich ways of being that support the bright, safe, comfortable and immensely satisfying future that you long for.

Even if you currently know of no other way to be, the tingling inside you that lets you know that something isn't right, is the desire to want more. It's the inner certainty that you deserve more.

When you have the desire, you are ready to achieve your potential.

The difference between simply existing and actually living starts with your willingness to explore that potential.

The events and conditioning of your past do not have to hold the blueprint of the shape of your future.

Even if you can't see or imagine that future yet.

Contact Reeta Luthra on 01296 426413 to book your free initial consultation with no obligation.

Questions? enquiries@paradoxofreality.com

 

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